To Fill Or Burst
by underthegreensward
Summary: Paige knows it will be impossible for them to stay just friends. Too bad Emily doesn't. Follows the storyline of 3x05.


Paige falls onto her bed, her face landing in a bunch of pillows. She groans, still not believing how stupid she was. A friendship with Emily is so not going to work. When she tried to put the tie on Emily, it was nearly impossible not to lean in and kiss her, slide her arms around Emily's waist, gripping at the white blouse, feeling soft lips against her own...

She has to stop thinking about stuff like this. She was to distracted to help Emily with a clip-on tie. A fucking clip-on tie. That's just embarrassing.

First friendship, then maybe more. If Emily's up to it. Which she hopefully is. Groaning again, Paige gets up and looks for something to wear to Jenna's party.

* * *

She pulls into a parking spot and turns the motor off. Now that she thinks about it, driving here wasn't the best idea, at least if she is going to drink what's in the flask. Tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, Paige tries to think of another way of getting home later. Maybe her dad will pick her up? No, he doesn't need to know she drinks. Screw this, she'll just order a cab later if she's too drunk to drive.

Opening the door, she climbs out of her car and walks to the coffee shop. She tugs her shirt down a bit and buttons the vest. Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and remembers she didn't bring a gift. Well shit, this evening is off to a _great_ start.

* * *

When she walks into the building, her eyes flit along the room, looking for Emily. Finding her, she can't help but smirk at Emily's outfit. Although the tie makes it kind of really hot. "Nice tie!" she says, grinning wide. "Thanks. I can't wait to take it off." Paige's mind is racing, willing the inappropriate thoughts away and somehow all it comes up with, is a lame joke. "When you do, will you wrap it for me? I forgot to bring a gift."

The smile that appears on Emily's face makes her think that it maybe wasn't _that _lame. "I'm glad you're here." The blood rushes in her ears and it's really hard to stay cool. "Well, I wanted to make sure this night isn't a complete bust for you." Which is really all Paige is here for; looking out for Emily and maybe spending some time with her. Or a lot. Emily's gaze wanders and her smile falls. Oh no, she said something wrong, whatever she said, it was too much. She looks to where Emily stares at to see what threw her off. It's... a _guy_?

"Who's that?" She wants to know what's going on here. "Nate. Ma- Maya's cousin." Emily seems quite distracted by this Nate person and Paige doesn't know what to say anymore, so she just takes the glass on Emily's tray. Trying to catch herself, she musters a smile for Emily. "I'll take that." She just gets a nod and an "I'll be right back." Turning around, Paige tries to feel not as disappointed as she does. She knows it was ridiculous to hope Emily would spend her time with her and only her, but she kind of did.

Wandering around the buffet, but never taking her eyes off of Emily, Paige gets more and more jealous by the second. Why is she talking to this guy and not her? And why does she look so concerned for him? She can't help but glare at this guy in his pink shirt and stupid hat. This really shouldn't make her feel the way she does. She has no right to be jealous and there probably isn't even a reason for her to be jealous in the first place.

When Emily walks away from Nate, but doesn't come to her, Paige tugs the flask out of her back pocket, pouring some of it's contents into her glass. Maybe drinking is going to make her feel less rejected and awkward. She gulps down almost all of her drink in one go, not batting an eye at the burn in her throat.

She wanders around the party for some time, trying to find someone to talk to, but she doesn't seem to find anyone she's interested enough in. Mainly because all she can think of is Emily. After another drink, Paige builds up the courage to follow her. Maybe if she helps her, they'll have some time to dance together. Or just talk.

* * *

Walking behind Emily, she does her best to be extra nice for her. "Hey! Need some help?" At least they would spend time together then. "I wish, but you can't. If my manager sees me hanging, he'll freak out." Paige feels anger bubble up in her and somehow it was hard to keep it down. "He wasn't upset you were hanging out with Maya's cousin?"

She doesn't think she's ever been so jealous. But then again she never felt neglected by someone she liked so much. Maybe because Emily is the only person she likes so much. "Nate? No, we- we weren't hanging out, we were just..." Paige looks at her, waiting for an explanation, but Emily doesn't have one. "It's complicated." She stares disbelievingly at her, letting out a huff of frustration, searching for words to tell Emily how she feels. But her mind is just a giant ball of anger, jealousy and all these feelings for the girl, standing right in front of her, that she can neither do anything about nor act on.

Just as she's about to find something to say, Aria comes running in, stopping abruptly as she sees Paige. "Hey! Hi, Paige..." Another friend Emily can talk to instead of her, great. "Hi..." Emily turns to look at Aria. "What's up?" Aria looks between the two of them and starts to walk backwards. "Nothing, we'll talk later." Maybe it's best if she just goes, maybe Emily will notice then how she makes her feel right now. "You know, I'm leaving. I shouldn't really be back here anyway, it's a 'No friends'-zone." With one last look at Emily, Paige storms out of the room.

* * *

She downs another drink and has to keep herself from shaking this time. Too much alcohol in too little other stuff, whatever it was she had in her glass before. Everything was slowly looking as if it was moving, despite her staying in one place.

She decides she should eat something. Walking over to the buffet, she squints, hoping that it would make stuff stop moving. The dessert table looks interesting, all those cupcakes look delicious. Who needs Emily, when you have cupcakes and a drink? Who needs Emily and her smile and her hair and her pretty eyes and her kindness and her everything? Maybe she does.

The cupcakes might look delicious, but the vanilla ones taste like old pennies. She had a coconut one before, but they are hiding now or something. Determined to find another one, Paige dips her finger in the cream on top of them. Old pennies, old pennies and another old pennies one. She's sucking the topping off of her finger, despite the gross taste, when Jenna appears next to her.

"What are you doing?" Her mouth is still full, but she tries her best to answer. "Looking for a coconut. These vanilla ones are gross." She sticks her finger back in her mouth to suck of the rest of the cream. "Would you please _stop_?" Paige scrunches her face up. Why would she do that? She wants a coconut. "I'm not gonna stop till I find a coconut."

Just then Emily decides to have time for her. "Paige, can I get you some coffee?" Why would she want a coffee? She wants a fucking coconut cupcake. And Emily. "Is she drunk?" What is up with Jenna? She should shut up. At least Paige thinks so. "No, I'm not drunk, I'm hungry. And your cupcakes taste like old pennies!"

While she stares Jenna down, Emily grabs her arms. "Paige, can you not-" Shaking Emily's hands of Paige just let's it all out. "Oh, really? Finally you have time for me? Alright, let's dance, let's dance." Trying to pull her onto the dance floor, she turns them around, stumbling a bit. "Paige, I can't dance right now, I'm working." letting go of Emily, she wavers, almost falling down. "Fine, I'll dance by myself!"

She hopes Emily realizes what she's missing out on. Spinning around herself once, she loses her balance and crashes to the ground, knocking down a vase. Her head is pounding and there is something trickling down her forehead. Emily rushes to her side and kneels down. "Are you okay? Are you okay? Oh my gosh! Can somebody get some ice please?"

This Nate guy is next to her too, telling people to back off. "Are you okay? Don't move! Be careful!" Paige can barely nod. Her head feels heavy, even heavier than the rest of her body. "Is she one of your friends?" He has barely finished the sentence, when Emily shouts "Yes!". It makes Paige feel a little better; hearing Emily say that they are friends. "We should get her outta here." With that, she's more or less lifted up by Nate and Emily, her own feet betraying her.

* * *

The car ride is quiet and sort of awkward. Paige has to concentrate on something else than the nauseous feeling in her stomach and the tiredness that is overcoming her. It sort of helps that Emily is sitting next to her in the backseat, while Nathan drives, and that she's refusing to let go of her hand, but it makes Paige feel guilty and she has to try not to apologize. At least not now, because she's pretty sure if she opens her mouth, she's going to throw up.

Her head is still pounding and feeling heavy. She lets it hang down to relax a bit, but it only makes it worse, because her head is bobbing up and down and she can't stop it. She winces in pain and squeezes Emily's hand tight. "Shh, it's going to be okay. We're almost there." Paige tries to nod, but it's too hard. Her eyelids are falling shut and she does everything to keep them from it. Falling asleep now would only embarrass her more.

* * *

When they arrive at the hospital, Emily slings one arm around her waist to hold her up, although Paige isn't that dizzy anymore. They sit down, waiting for someone to call Paige's name, Nate seems kind of absent and Emily is still holding her hand. She is starting to feel better, the nauseous feeling is completely gone and she doesn't have to squint anymore to make things stop moving.

Someone calls her name and Paige gets up on her own, walking slowly towards the nurse who's holding a door open for her. In the room, she takes a seat. The doctor comes in and cleans her wound, dabbing at it with cotton pad. "Looks like you need stitches. What did you do anyway?" Paige bites her lip and decides to tell the truth. "I drank a bit and decided to dance, lost my balance and hit a vase on my way down."

Pulling back, the doctor looks at her with a frown. "You know you're not allowed to drink, right?" She nods. "Yeah, it was stupid. I honestly don't know how I ended up being this out of control. I didn't drink that much." Turning around to get the sewing stuff, he nods. "Okay, I'm gonna sew you up and then we're gonna run a tox screen, just to be sure." Paige can't really disagree, so she doesn't say anything.

Once the stitches are done, they draw some blood from her arm and then she has to wait. While she sits there, she wonders if Emily is still there. She probably isn't and Paige won't blame her for it. She made complete fool out of herself tonight and she doesn't remember what she said to Emily. It could have been anything. Burying her head in her hands, she hopes it wasn't too bad.

* * *

Milizopam. It is more than scary that this _stuff _was in her system, but she can only blame herself for it. She doesn't remember most of the night, just blurry pictures, droning sounds, some lights and Emily. A nurse comes in and tells her that her friend is waiting for her outside. So she staid after all.

Taking a deep breath, Paige walks towards Emily, who stands up ass soon as she sees her. "Hey. You didn't have to stay." Emily looks concerned. "No, I wanted to. You were in there for a long time." She also sounded concerned. Maybe she did care for her. "They gave me a few stitches and they wanted to run a test." Emily's brows furrow and she leans slightly forward. "Why?" Taking another deep breath, Paige starts talking. "I told the doctor how little I had to drink and he wanted to do a tox screen. Turns out I wasn't messed up from the alcohol." Stepping a bit closer, Emily crosses her arms over her chest. "What do you mean?"

Paige swallows, shaking her head in confusion. "There were traces of milizopam in my system. It's a sleeping pill. The doctor asked if I set my cup down at any point or drank from someone else's... Honestly, who knows? It's such a blur, I don't remember anything." She let's out a sigh, while Emily eyes are wide with shock. "I need to call my parents. My dad's going to want to talk to the doctor."

She reaches into her back pocket and hands the flask over to Emily. "Here, don't need that when they're gonna get here." She takes the flask with out saying anything. Paige wants to tell her how sorry she is, wants to tell her that she hopes to see her more often, wants to hug her, but instead she just smiles a sad smile at her and leaves.

* * *

Two hours later she lies on her bed, her face in her pillow. She groans, because of herself, this milizopam stuff, her parents and once again herself. This is not going to work out, she needs to talk to Emily about what happened, at least to apologize. Looking for her phone, she types 'Can we talk tomorrow?', sends it to Emily and closes her eyes. When she gets a 'Yeah, of course.' as answer Paige can't help but feel happy as she falls asleep.


End file.
